I recently attended a workshop given by author and PMP guru Joseph Phillips on applying project management principals to personal goals (if this type of things interests you then I suggest you check out his book The Lifelong Project, but that’s really not what this blog is about). And at one point during the four hour session, Mr. Phillips used an uncomfortable moment of silence to capture the group’s full attention before reciting this beautifully simplistic truth that is currently chewing its way through my insides:
Lessons will be repeated until learned…
Lessons will be repeated until learned…
Lessons will be repeated until learned…
For any of you that have followed my blogging habits from my early days on Xanga to my brief fling with MySpace to this current incarnation, you know that I do a lot of teaching (or at least try to) in my posts. That being said, what you may not realize, especially if you haven’t followed me here from older venues, is that the real story is in the subtext.
Today, in a moment of total defeat I was made painfully aware that the ”words of wisdom” I try to impart are sometimes nothing more than veiled attempts at self-assurance when the truth is more along the lines of self-deception – and if you peel back enough layers you’ll find that I’m usually the one most in need of my own advice.
For the better part of the day I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why I constantly (and consciously) repeat the same mistakes — especially those I have already chalked-up as lessons learned. I’m like the guy in Memento; unable to form new memories I go about making the same foolish decisions like I’ve completely forgotten the pain I’ve already caused. But unlike Leonard Shelby I don’t have a legitamate medical excuse for my behavior.
I’ve been grasping for all kinds of answers. But I keep coming back to the same three words.
Actions
Habits
Character
What’s really got me tied up in knots right now is my fear that I have perpetuated this type of behavior for so long that I’ve cruised right past the habitual state and have successfully ingrained a self-destructive flaw into my character. Talk about a humbling self-assessment.
Its at this point in my blogs where I usually tie all the loose ends together and tell you in my best Tony Robbins voice that if you just follow these three steps or consider an alternate perspective, you too can master your mistakes!
But, I don’t have any advice this time. I’m not yet qualified.
You left out one very important word in your list of 3, (that should be 4).
HUMAN
You said, “For the better part of the day I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why I constantly (and consciously) repeat the same mistakes — especially those I have already chalked-up as lessons learned.”
This sounds oddly familiar; like Paul in Romans 7. I’m sure you’re familiar with it, but you should give it another read now. It may open your eyes to something you haven’t considered.
If nothing else, you’re in good company.
I knew Paul had some words on this but due to time constraints I was going to do later research for a follow-up post. Now I don’t have to, because Romans 7 is exactly what I was seeking.
I love what you’re wrestling with Jordan. This is good (the content and the way you’re expressing it).